Painted Memories
by Subaru Shojo
Summary: Aoshi found a little paper...memories return


Painted Memories 

Painted Memories 

Subaru Shôjo

Author notes:Nobuhiro Watsuki is the owner of this characters, please read and review. An Aoshi/Misao fic, WAFF Alert. Also a Misao/Aoshi Childhood.
    
    _My feelings are filled with the performance of time,_
    
    _With a clear voice, the endless future continues to walk to your eyes._

"Again…" he murmured in his cold and stern way, as he repeated the same page an eleventh time. He combed his ivory black hair with his fingers, resting his forehead on his hand. It hasn't been a good day, all he did was putting her in place, that's all. He told her one more time, he didn't need her, to leave him alone…She couldn't understand he didn't love her, why? Maybe she's too young to understand it. You know she isn't, so, why are you feeling so guilty? Maybe 'cause you made her cry? Or because those bluish eyes looked painfully at you? No, I don't care what happens to her, I'm not anything for her, she doesn't need me…So why did she cry? When someone needs you, they cry, don't they? Can you shut up! I'm working on this papers! I made it clear! It's not my problem she doesn't understand! Oh really? Understand what? That you're unworthy for her? That she deserves better? No… So? 

Never mind…

As his mental fight was opening deep wounds, he scratched his head in frustration, not letting his expressionless mask disappear. He couldn't, he opened his eyes widely.Then, a flash of anger was across his eyes, he stood up from his desk and with his long firm arm, knocked all the papers there were on it, making papers fly in all directions from his room. The candle light died out, there he was, alone, in the darkness, that was really how he felt, he belonged to the darkness, he was meant to be alone. He sighed as his head bent letting his long bangs fall into his face dreadfully.Again his hand passed through his hair, he closed his eyes again, so he could concentrate to put his expressionless mask back to his face. But he couldn't, he was still thinking in that blue-eyed girl, always happy always loving…the opposite of him, he couldn't return what she has offered to him, he could only feel, pain, sorrow, hate…

Then as if send from heaven a light storm began…rain poured menacingly into the earth,the clouds as black as his mood,lightings flashing and trembling trough the sky, illuminating his room between periods…

In one of them he looked back to his desk, an unseen paper took his attention. He took the piece off paper in his hand. It was wrapped with a light blue lace, the paper seem old, very old…He unwrapped the paper, and put the lace into his trench coat.

"Where does it came from? I don't remember have this paper on here before" he said with a glint of curiosity in his eyes. He unfolded the old paper, and a gasp escape from his lips as he saw the content of the paper. It was a drawing from a little person, obviously he knew that person, it was a special drawing the little girl gave to him…he remember it perfectly.
    
    _Higher than everybody else. Close to the sky._
    
    _I am close to something bright and shiny._
    
    _I wished for light._
    
    _If I were burning, I will be o.k._
    
    _Everything is accompanying the truth._

FLASHBACK

"Misao-chan!! Where are you?!" Omasu yelled from the kitchen window, it has been raining for two weeks, it has stopped in the morning, but it started again a couple hours ago. Misao at age of 6, was playing in the garden, well she said she was making something special for her Aoshi-sama, she said that when she was done, she will enter the building immediately. But you know how children are when they are so small, and they want to explore everything, so, little Misao was 'exploring' the garden so she could find something special for her Aoshi-sama. Aoshi was on his room searching for some papers, he was 16 years old. Then he could hear Omasu's yells through all the Aoiya. He sighed wanting some peace, so he went to the kitchen. He leaned on the doorframe, with his stony eyes looking at a desperate Omasu. She turned to see him, and she began to weep like a baby, Aoshi got sweat drops on his head, trying to calm down the poor desperate Omasu.

"What is it? Does Misao-chan made something?" he said in his icy voice, Omasu only nodded, and her weeping dissolved into sobbing and sniffles.

"I can't find Misao-chan, she said she was on the garden, I was watching her from here, but when the rain began, I couldn't see her anymore" she said shedding more tears. Aoshi patted Omasu's shoulder.

"Don't worry I'll bring her back" he said picking up an umbrella, and getting outside. The rain was heavy, for a second he thought the rain will ruin his umbrella. But then he saw between the blur of the rain the little figure below a tree. He approached more when he saw the little Misao concentrating on the paper she had in front it was attached by two nails to the trunk of the tree. She had two brushes and little buckets of colors by her side. 

"Misao?" was all he could handle to say, Misao without noticing, answered automatically.

"Hello Aoshi-sama" then she registered Aoshi's voice on her head, panicking and trying to cover the picture in front of her.

"Aoshi-sama! What are you doing here?! Don't watch! Close you're eyes!" she said jumping trying to cover her drawing, but he had seen it all, from the first moment, although the rain ruined it. Aoshi bent a little and said with his stony eyes.

"I was about to ask you the same question, you're soaking wet Misao, get inside" he said straitening himself. Misao looked at him in disapproval, and crossed her chubby arms across her little chest.

"No, until I'm done with my masterpiece" she said determined. Aoshi's brow's met, he wasn't in the mood to hold on with a childish wish. He want people to obey him, he won't let a 6 year old girl to disobey him.

"Misao get inside, now!" he's voice deep and demanding, Misao kept saying no, and continued painting, but her efforts still failed as the rained ruined the paint and spill it in all the paper.

"You don't have to finish that 'thing', it's already ruined Misao, you can do it tomorrow" he said loosing his patience.

"It's not ruined Aoshi-sama, you see? I'm making art with the paint droplets!" she said showing part of her work proudly. Aoshi frowned again, loosing his temper.

"For me it's just a ruined paper, a soaked paint and a drenched paper" he said holding his umbrella tightly. How stubborn this child could be sometimes! Aoshi grabbed Misao's wrist.

"Now we're getting inside! You're going to be sick if you don't change those clothes!" he said dragging her. Misao was struggling, she grabbed the little bucket of blue and throw it to Aoshi's back head. He dropped the umbrella and tightened his grip. He turned around to see Misao giggling. His eyes glanced at her threatening. Misao's giggles stopped. She gulped as Aoshi turned totally and left Misao's wrist, the rain washing the blue paint through his clothes.

"You little…" he hissed approaching to her. Misao went one step backside gulping more. Aoshi grabbed another bucket of red, the he spilled it on Misao's head. Misao went for the green one, and splashed it all over his face, making him spit some. Misao was laughing louder, she went one step more, and she fell into the mud. Now her smile and eyes her brighter…Aoshi spilled more yellow paint on her, as she did de same with the other ones…Until there was no more paint but the black one. They were looking at each other, approaching more to see who got the black paint. But then Misao's attention took place in the paper. She smiled brightly.

"Look Aoshi-sama, we did a masterpiece!" she said pointing the picture, it was the paper covered with all the colors, and some mixed up because of the rain. It was a colorful picture, it hasn't a figure, but the colors made it an abstract picture. The Misao grabbed Aoshi's sleeve and said.

"May we write our names on it? With black?" he looked at her confused, but he nodded, and grabbed the brush. He put their names on it with kanji. Misao smiled, even she didn't understand quite well.

"You're letter is ugly Aoshi-sama, you ruined our masterpiece!" she said teasingly, Aoshi flickered menacinglyat the comment. He gave her the brush.

"Then do it" Misao gulped a little, she doesn't knew the kanji very well, so she grabbed Aoshi's hand and spilled a little black pain on it. And crushed it on the paper. Then Misao did the same with hers. Aoshi was still shocked at the child's touch, and how her little hand seem so delicate in his large an thin one. 

"That's a better firm, We're done Aoshi-sama!" she said cheerfully. Aoshi bowed his head, and a slight curve was on his lips. Misao grabbed the paper, covering with her body. So it couldn't be 'ruined'.

Misao was running as Aoshi walked through the rain calmly.

"Aoshi-sama!!! Run! We're going to catch a cold!" she said hurriedly, Aoshi's mind ordered to smile, but still his mask won't let him. He nodded and caught Misao's pace.

"MISAO-CHAAAAAAAAAN!!!!" Omasu yelled as she ran tothe wet little Misao. Aoshi shook his head, letting little drops fall to the floor. Omasu felt Misao's wet clothes and hair. She glared Aoshi, who only gulped a little.

"Why on earth, were you doing?! I told you to bring Misao dry! Not wet with paint all over her body!" she said washing her hands. And looking them as a protective mother.

"Omasu-chan, don't blame Aoshi-sama, it was my fault" she said regretfully, playing with her hands. "But look! I made Aoshi-sama's gift, well he helped me, but I started all!" she said jumping showing Omasu her damp paper. Omasu rolled her eyes and from the corner of the eye, he looked at Aoshi, he avoided her glance, he turned to see the window. He walked, and with a husky voice he said.

"I'm going to take a bath, let me know when dinner is ready" he said passing them by. But Omasu caught Aoshi's shirt. Aoshi stopped, then Omasu warned him.

"You have to wash this child, she's your responsibility!" Aoshi turned and arched brow.

"Since when?" he said, Misao only looked at their faces and hid behind Omasu's legs. Aoshi eyed Misao, She only gulped more.

"Since the paint war was between you two, and you let her outside for a long time!" she said gritting her teeth.

"She didn't want to enter!" he hissed, little Misao began to sob…Omasu went on her heels.

"What is itMisao-chan?" she said tenderly patting Misao's head. Misao wiped out her tears.

"You're scolding Aoshi-sama, when it was all my fault!" she said crying now. Omasu patted Misao's head, and smiled at her sweetly. The when turned her head and glared Aoshi, fire almost in her eyes, Aoshi gulped more.

"Look what you've done!" she said between teeth. Aoshi grabbed Misao and carried her out of the kitchen. Misao hugged tightly Aoshi's neck, he tensed a bit, then he let Misao in the bathroom. 

"I'll be outside, I know you can bathe by yourself" he said patting her head, Misao nodded cheerfully. And went into the tub. He could hear Misao's splashes and giggling, she was always happy, shining, with a lot of energy.

"Aaaaachu!!!" he sneezed, rubbing his nose, and blaming the little girl for this. Misao opened the door, the she smiled at Aoshi, she was in her pajamas, she looked so cute on them.

"Your turn Aoshi-saaaaachu!!" she sneezed giggling a bit, her nose a bit red. He stood up and entered the bathroom.

Then both went downstairs, as a cold breeze surrounded them, they both sneezed at the same time, all the dinner they were sneezing, with their noses red. And a pair of napkins by their side.

The next day, both were on their rooms with flue, both sneezing and now coughing a bit. Misao went to Aoshi's room, she looked so doomed, she entered then and timidly approached to her Aoshi-sama.

"Gomen ne, I've should obey you, now, because of my fault, you're sick" she said lamely, sniffing again. Aoshi carried Misao on his arms. She rubbed her pinkish cheeks, and this time, his eyes showing a bit of softness.

"Don't worry Misao-chan, it's alright" he said calmly, Misao grabbed his hand tenderly.

"But we are better, ne? We don't have to take that ugly medicine" she said twitching her nose, Aoshi laughed mentally.

"Aa…I'm afraid so" he said passing his fingers trough Misao's hair as he cradled her in his arms. Misao made a face, but she relaxed as Aoshi was combing her hair. Later she reminded and gave a piece of paper to him.

"It's already dry Aoshi-sama, it's for you, so you could take it anywhere you go, and remember Misao-chan forever!" she said tapping her little fingers on his chest, he lifted the paper, and saw the two palms printed on it, a little spilled but you could se the form of it. A big hand and a little hand, and behind a colorful scenery. He smiled. He really did.

END OF FLASHBACK
    
    __
    
    ___"The boy saw the hatred to which he is hiding a persons shadow."_
    
    _I don't want to see this kind of world anymore.___

_No more! No more! No more!_

"We were two weeks with flue" he said looking at the paper soothing the pain he felt. He left the paper on the desk, the storm has ceased, but in the tree there was a red thing, it was an umbrella. It was Misao…

You should apologize…for her sake, for her broken heart, the heart you'd broken…No, I don't, I don't have to beg any pardon from her, I know I'm right, and that she understands, she's not a baby…But still…You know she's not a baby, she's a woman, that has feelings for you, undying feelings…I…can't…Do you want to live like this? In this darkness? So lonely? You were always behind a shadow, hiding your feelings in this icy mask, hurting the one's you love. I don't love her, I don't even what is love…Poor thing, still Misao-chan has hope on you, but I think it's just too difficult for a WEAK person like you…I'm not weak!!!!! Oh really? So why are you feeling so guilty, and you don't even DARE to look at her, to say her you really care…you're too damn scared don't you? 
    
    _But I still think of you,_
    
    _even if the season is coming to an end._
    
    _It has rained many times but now it has stopped._
    
    _It looks like the scene which_
    
    _I always watched with my eyes closed._
    
     

He took a glance at Misao's figure, she wasn't a child anymore, she was a woman, a woman that loved him. He couldn't lover her back, he knew it, and it hurt him. He sighed and relaxed, he took a red umbrella and went to the rain.

He approached carefully, so she couldn't notice him, but she said seriously.

"What are you doing here, I thought you said you didn't want to see me…again" she said giving her back to him, e gritted his teeth, and clenching his fists, didn't she know it was so difficultto him? To be here to try!

"I…wanted to say…" he murmured, Misao turned rapidly looking at him, she threw the umbrella, making the rain fall on her. Aoshi put his umbrella on her but Misao bashed it, making it fall to the ground.

"You've said enough! So don't be sorry for me!! Did Jiya send you? Did he told you to ask for an apology!??" she shouted, Aoshi's eyes went wide, he looked at her, and then anger welled up on his body. Misao regret her words, he was very harsh, then she gulped as she saw Aoshi's face.

"Jiya didn't send me..."he said between teeth. Misao went a step backwards. Aoshi came closer and grabbed Misao's collar. Misao's eyes went in horror, Aoshi seeing Misao's expression, let her go, turning his head aside.
    
    _The person in pain. The dream which never comes true._
    
    _Why does love have to be born in my chest?_

_The flowers that are blossoming, are sinking back into the ground._

"I'm sorry…" he murmured, Misao stunned, began to cry. Aoshi's guilty heart couldn't handle more.

"I know I'm not always right, even though I don't know where to go, cause I don't see my road clear" he paused looking at Misao deeply.

"I wanted to turn back time so I can breathe, To take out all that is a burden and the ones are useless, Just for a moment to be, Just to begin again, To notice the things that they've hurt me, the one's that I missed…" he murmuring.

"But I guess you don't want a 'thing' that have hurt you so much, you deserve better Misao, I hope you'll find him" he said with all the pain on his heart, but his stony mask still held on.

"May be you're right.." she said lowering her face, Aoshi's expression changed to a surprised one. "Sayonara Aoshi-sama" she said streching out her hand, not looking at him. He couldn't believe it, he's worst nightmare was coming true. Aoshi stretched out his hand and close it gently on hers, he looked at their hands, her hand was bigger, but his was too. He half smiled, Misao noticed and hold it tighter, she was sobbing now. She looked aside, then her eyes determined, she grabbed Aoshi's collar, while she get on her toes, kissing her Aoshi-sama on the lips. He didn't moved, he was really shocked, feeling her soft lips against his, her warmth, a feeling he hadn't felt for years, the last time, it was when they were together embracing each other while they had flue. She pushed away, not wanting to see him, this was enough. She hated crying, and now she was doing it again. Aoshi got out from his trance, looking at a heart-broken Misao. She was walking backwards, making the distance longer, Aoshi as a flash of light, went to her side, wrapping her wrist tightly.

"Misao…" he said a worrying hint in his voice. She pushed him away, but he only hold her tighter.

"Don't…I don't want…this…no more…no more" he whispered on her ear, their heads were only inches from each other, Aoshi move toward to her more and more, until their lips met. Misao replied at his kiss, the rain covering both. 

Aoshi break the kiss for some air, Misao's pulse was higher, Aoshi released her, and began to walk to the building. Misao confused, ran behind him, shouting.

"What was that?!!" she asked furiously. He turned a with a little mocking smile said.

"A kiss…" Misao went with mouth wide open. 

"So why are you leaving!!!!!!????" she said desperately. He didn't turn this time, he just stopped and said her coldly with a hint of mildness.

"Because I don't want to have for two weeks flue…again" he continued making his figure vanished in the entrance of the building, Misao smiled brightly.

"He remember…he always did" she said sweetly, she ran inside the house, being scold by Omasu, she gave her two towels, Misao looked puzzled.

"One for you and one for Shinomori-san! Hurry up girl, I don't want an plague like the other time!" she said as she went into the dinning room. Misao giggled at the comment, and went upstairs to Aoshi's room.She slide the door, it was dark, but she could sense no one. She entered and placed the towel on the futon. She got the fire in the candle, making the room more brightly. She looked at Aoshi's desk, all the papers were spread in all the room, and one paper was on the desk. She looked at it, smiling sweetly. He kept it for almost 12 years! He really loved her, she was so happy. A murmur went trough her neck, she tripped and fall into something smooth and yet hard, that smell she new it. She turned around and saw Aoshi with a towel on his waist, his hair yet wet. She straight up and looked timidly at him. He looked so handsome in towel.

"What are you doing in my room?" he said teasingly. Misao handed him the towel. He nodded and dried his head with it. "Arigatou" he said bending his head. Misao smiled and a blush went into her cheeks.

"I thought you threw this away" she said grabbing the painting. Aoshi nodded.

"I thought that too, but I guess it was here to return some memories" he said in his usual tone.

"Yep, painting with Aoshi-sama, it was fun" she smiled at him, he caressed her cheek with feathery fingers, and grabbed her head with his both hands, and kissed her briefly. Then he sled the door, meanwhile Misao was daydreaming with hearts across her head.

"Well, would you mind to let me change?" he said leaning on the wall, his arms across his bare chest. Misao nodded rapidly running out of the room, but first she gave him a little kiss on his cheek. Aoshi half smiled, which made Misao even more happy. She sled the door, as she went to the kitchen. Aoshi sighed, he picked up the painting, tracing Misao's little fingers. Then he put it away.

"Aa…painted memories indeed" he said changing his clothes for another stormy day with her dearest Misao-chan, well, now Misao…
    
    _The time is filled with love._
    
    _With a clear voice continues_
    
    _to give the endless night to your eyes._

The End

Author notes: Well I think it is a bit OCC, but I still wait for reviews so!!! REVIEW!!!! Oh! The song I wrote on _cursive_ it was from my dearest L'Arc en Ciel! I love those guys!!! Well the song is Niji, but I thought it was useless to put it in romanji so I took one already translated.


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